How to Win

I got teary-eyed a couple of weeks ago when I was watching the US Open, in particular watching Serena Williams play what was her last match in tennis. Hard to believe that the woman who dominated the sport for so long was quitting. But was she?

In a match that lasted over three hours, and even when she was down, Serena gave it her all, mental tenacity and physical prowess. Her opponent had to work for every point right up to the end of the third set. She didn't win the match but demonstrated winning in many other ways.

In my seven years of running workshops and programs, I've noticed some people have not experienced the wonderful feeling of success and winning. Why? Because they quit. Not physically leave but "quietly quit."

They attend the classes and participate in the support and camaraderie but take no action. They expect weight loss almost immediately, even though I tell them that nothing I offer is a diet program. Some say they only need a few hours of sleep to have mental clarity and focus. They tell me they want to be happy and have more self-confidence, yet every time "bad food" is eaten, they shame and guilt themselves so thoroughly that they can't mentally pick themselves up to start again.

Senior leadership and HR directors tell me they have workers who have "quietly quit." This means they are still on the job but doing the bare minimum to get by. Have you ever thought this was the only way the employees could protect their health and well-being?

So all this quitting, whose fault is it, the parents, the person themselves, or the boss? But, of course, it could be a combination of all three, so the quitting muscle is strong.

Unfortunately, people are so fearful of making mistakes that they either don't start or quit early. I tell the folks who work with me to fail often and fail big because it's a way to win in the game of life. We learn by putting forth the effort, falling, and getting back up. Each time we fail and get back up, it helps us improve, strengthens our relationships with ourselves, and positively impacts how we feel about one another.